Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize
