It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My feet surprised me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
