as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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