so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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