I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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