I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
