At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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