6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
