hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
