I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
