her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize