so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
