I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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