... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
