Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard

Fav 13 1188 2131
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(989): View more from Michigan

I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa

Fav 27 831 3700
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(512): View more from Texas

I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking

Fav 14 1172 3964
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd

Fav 8 1612 2613
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(661): View more from California

I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.

Fav 7 1077 1295
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(727): View more from Florida

I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.

Fav 68 970 7452
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(419): View more from Ohio

you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there

Fav 0 535 768
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(620): View more from Kansas

Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM

Fav 1 510 380
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(404): View more from Georgia

Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.

Fav 0 6 29
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