I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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