just come out here and I will go home with you...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
