So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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