I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
