You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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