Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
