She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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