i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
