She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
