Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
