I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
