great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
