I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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