This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize