The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
