Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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