their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Acid is not a monday night drug
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
