Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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