Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
