I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
