Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
