There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
sex in a hospital.. check
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
