I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize