Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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