# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I still have a little drunk in my system
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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