Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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