well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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