she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
