Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
