who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
