I just made out with a guy for $7.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
