Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Randomize
