when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
