thus making me awesome and them whores
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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