so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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