Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I FOUND THE LEGS
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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