would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I have feelings that need drinking.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
