ya dads aren't the best wingmen
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
