honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
