Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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