what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
