smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
