I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
