You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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