ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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