i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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