soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
